Ludus Vita Chapter 3

Ludus Vita

Written by: Heara

[Author’s note: Omg. Madaming salamat sa mga compliments niyo and for loving the story. Hope you would love the story till the end! Madaming salamat sa pagsupporta and to the people here ;))) Please join MNB group in facebook and Zildjianstories in facebook also! It’s a very fun group! :D]

 DISCLAIMER: This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, place, or written works are purely coincidental. The author retains all rights to the work, and requests that in any use of this material that my rights are respected. Please do not copy or use this story in any manner without my permission.

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Game 3

“Good Morning Mr. Estabillo”, bati ng secretary kong si Carla. I nod at her, and then proceed to my office. Shizz, my head is awfully painful. I had a 2hrs sleep, not because I have been a party animal again but there this bastard that’s been running in my head.

Well, fuck you Chase.

I just don’t know. I regret calling Zeke for telling this thing as “LOVE”, fudge! Uttering these words give me creeps. But my head says, no, this is just lust that’s torturing me right now and I want to agree with my head, obviously. Pero di nga, seryoso! I believe this is just blood curling lust with him. Because, you know, I would love to engraft my nails to his silky skin, to trail down my tongue on his rigid muscles and to tease my lips on his lips down to his man—, Holy schmoozer, Lux! Stop these thoughts!

I sighed; I think another day will be wasted. Maybe, I should pursue Chase and just find out whether this is love or lust. Ay, juice ko, buko juice, ang dami ko pang gagawin oh. Yung dating reports, proposals and presentations na dapat asikasuhin ay nadagdagan ng meeting. Bago ko pa man tawagan si Carla, eh nag-ring ang phone ko.

Chase

OH MY… Pano- how? Ayy, oo nga pala, we exchanged numbers. I was floating on cloud9 that time.

“Lux! It’s me Chase! Are you free tonight?” masayang bungad niya sakin mula sa kabilang linya. Eh napaka-sayahing bata mo pala Chase eh no? napangiti na lang ako ng kusa sa naisip ko.

“I am free for the whole day, Chase.” Well, shit.

“Wow, that’s great! San ka ba? Sunduin na kita dyan.” He said still very cheerfully on the line. Susunduin niya ako, I felt the familiar heat in my face and an unfamiliar tingling in my heart. Kinikilig ata ako. Ata lang ah? Im not sure because it’s my first time to feel this… sweet feeling.

“No you don’t have to Chase, let’s meet up in the Greenbelt. Umm, I guess I’ll see you in Coffee Beans. Bye.” Sinadya kong putulin agad ang linya because I can feel the words piling up in my throat again. Malala na ata to. I need to get down and dirty with him for me to judge this now.

Kung lust man ito, no sweat at all. But if this is love, I’ll fight for this no matter what, because the Love that I know means never letting it go.

“LUX! Aga mo ah?” Ngiting bungad sakin ni Chase while he gorgeously walk with a loose white shirt and a brown knee length trousers and a black zapato del barco. My angel still looks heavenly kahit na di mageffort manamit. As he swiftly sits in front of me I could get a smell of his manly shower gel. Hmm, it tingles my sense of smell, my homo persona swirl around with confetti. He approves.

“Oh yeah, my office is just near here.” Ngiti ko, hindi ko mapigilan ilabas ang ngiting kilig. Effortless lang na lumalabas sakin eh, ewan ko ba. I sipped a coffee before I continue to speak, I can see in the corner of my eyes he blushed and my homo persona pops out again with a pompom this time. “Whats up? Napayaya ka ata?”

He uncomfortably shifts in his chair and shyly beams at me. Utang na loob Chase, tigil tigilan mo yung kakaganyan mo sakin, I might bang you right here, right now. Lust ata nga to.

“Hindi ako makatulog eh. Gusto kong makabawi sa pagkakadampot ko sa Cp mo.” He laughed “Sorry, ganto talaga ako.” At nagkamot siya ng ulo.

“You don’t have to be so sorry Chase ano ka ba.” I said while I’m shaking my head. “So, where do you like to date me? I mean treat me.” I laughed horribly because of the words slipping in my mouth. To tell you honestly, kahit umupo lang kami dito masaya na ako. I feel contented when I’m with him and that makes me more… kilig.

“Actually may gusto akong panuorin.” He looked at me intently like he is trying to analyze my mood or something. “eh kaso… baka… uhh… ummm.” He budge as he sits and he seems to be so nervous that makes me really bothered.

“Ano ba kasi yun Chase… parang… di ka mapakali?”

“Eh kasi… baka pagtawanan mo ko sa gusto kong panuorin.”

“Huh? Bakit naman?” nagsalubong ang kilay ko sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko talaga mapagtanto ang isang to.

“Gusto ko kasing manuod ng Paranorman.” He pouts. Oh my goose, he is heavenly cute. Please stop it, seriously.

“Oh ano pang inaantay mo? Tara na!” tayo ko sa kinauupuan ko. He raised his face which makes our gaze meets. It was…. Nerving into my soul, it was something that is magical where I could only hear was my heart beating like crazy.

“Chase? CHASE!? Oh my goodness! Ikaw nga! Kelan ka pa dito?” bigla akong napagitla sa ingay ng isang lalaki. He looks like an ulzzang, yeah, Korean cutie with a British school uniform inspired outfit. He has a very tasteful copper colored hair. Lumapit siya kay Chase para tapikin ito. Napatayo naman siya and he looks very surprised. “You still look great Chase!” yumakap ang cheerful chinito kay Chase na ginantihan naman ng yakap ni gago este ni Chase.

“A-alex, it’s good to see you again.” Mukhang pinagpapawsan si Chase nung kumalas siya sa pagkakayakap. Mainit ba? O sadyang hot lang ako.

Biglang tumingin sakin yung Alex, tinignan ako mula ulo hanggang paa. Aba’t may inspection dito pre? Wanna touch my abs or feel my muscles? Sabihin mo lang, I’ll be very willing. Ngumiti siya, napangiti rin ako. You enjoyed the view?

“Your new boyfriend Chase or what?”

Huh? Boyfriend? I don’t get it. Because of my confusion I looked Chase who’s currently having his jaw dropped on the floor. For about a minute, I guess he gained his composure and he suddenly said his goodbyes to Alex which left him very surprised. Nacoconfuse pa din ako sa nangyayari, lalo na ngayon. Tangay tangay ako ni Chase. Hawak niya yung wrist ko at ramdam na ramdam ko yung pamumula ng pisngi ko. I feel so embarrassed especially when people are staring us kahit naman nakikipagholding hands naman ako dati kahit kapwa ko lalaki pero iba to eh. Whenever I’m with Chase, he introduces me the feelings that I’ve been unknown before. I’m like a high school boy gushing about the sweetness of love.

Hanggang bumili kami ng ticket at matapos ang palabas sa sinehan eh tahimik lang si Chase. Wala na yung aura niyang masayahin. Well, to see a dangerous side of Chase can be really thrilling. Amp, Lux, badtrip na nga ata yung tao ganto pa naiisip ko.

“Let’s drink Lux.”

We choose to have a drink and chill in his pad. Mukhang wala sa mood si Chase, medyo mabilis na din ang paginom niya ng san mig. Nakakaisa pa lang ako siya eh nakakalima na pero sa buong panahon na yun he was silent and I let him be.

“It’s a funny thing that I am running away from the things that make my youth the happiest ones.” I was startled when he started to talk. “I don’t know what my exact reasons are but I want to believe that I found what my happiness is and I want to protect it from my past.” He smiled bitterly and continued. “I’m scared.” His pitch dropped I looked at him and his eyes glitters.

“Why are you so afraid Chase?” hindi ko napigilang hawakan ang kamay ni Chase. For a manly hand he sure has a very soft hand. He is shaking and that is because of the tears that he is trying to suppress.

“I loved to play fire and those burns kept me alive. I love to taste the sweetness of women and I also loved the exquisite tang of men.” He released breathing and continued. “I don’t know if this is what you called Bisexual but all I know in my past I was Mantsy*”

^{[Mantsy- An anxious need to have sex.]}

Napalunok ako ng bulto ng laway. Trying to fathom what he had all said. But then he smiled like he remembered something that’s best in his life.

“And then I met her. That changed everything in me...” her? So he has a girlfriend? Something pangs in my chest and it hurts as I breathe. “She’s the right thing that happened in my life. I thank Heavens I met L—“naputol ang pagsasalita niya nung nag ring ang phone niya. “Ah excuse me I have a call.”

Kung kanina si Chase ang nawala sa mood, ako naman ngayon. Hindi ko alam pero pakiramdam ko nagmukha akong tanga, feeling ko ang bobo ko. Nung matapos si Chase makipag usap nagpaalam ako na uuwi na ako. Hindi na ako nagpahatid pa sa kanya. Habang nasa kotse ako, hindi ko mapigilang umiyak. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ba ako umiiyak, naiinis at… nasasaktan. Just then and there I realized… you never die in pain you suffer from it that’s why you only wish you did.

I never cared when other the people I played with is in a commitment or relationship. As long as they can keep it its fine with me. Pero why? Why with Chase it’s painful? My heart can’t take that someone holds his heart?

Hi tears, it’s my first time to meet you and I am not very pleased to meet you.

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I decided to take a shower trying to cleanse all the tension that happened today. Out of the people na makikita ko bat si Alex pa? Napaka ingay talaga ng isang yun. But I can’t blame him, wala na naman siyang balita sa akin since we broke up 6 years ago. Well, did we break up? Can I call it relationship? All we had to do is to cling on each other’s skin. It doesn’t matter anymore I have Lia in my life. napabuntong hininga ako, the more I runaway the more I make it harder on myself. Lia would not like that.

Damn, I missed her.

“Lia?”

“Yes baby?” her sleepy voice, it’s very sexy and seductive. I bite my lip because of my thought.

“Good Morning My Queen. I missed you.” I can hear her smile on the line, shoot, how I missed to see her smile once again.

“What’s up baby? Why did you call? Last minute wish para sa pasalubong?” she giggled. I frown, I wanna be with her. Gusto ko marinig ng personal every sound of her. To watch her every move.

“wala lang, namimiss na kita.” napiyok ako, hanggang ngayon kasi naiisip ko pa rin yung nangyari sa buong araw. “Lia, you’re proud of me right? Mahal mo ako di ba?” I sound like a child but I don’t care. Lia’s words are my savior. She’s my savior, light and my life.

“Aletheo, please know that I love you. I love you so much. Baby, cheer up I’ll be coming home soon. Heaven knows how much I wanted to be with you right now. Please bear with me.” I can hear her desperation of wanting to be with me and I was truly right Lia’s words are my savior and it made me cheer up.

“I love you Lia. Pahinga ka na ulit. See you soon!” I dropped the call immediately. Ayoko ng pahabain pa ang usapan naming baka umiyak na ako sa pagkamiss ko sa kanya. Masyado na akong emotional ngayong gabi. Kailangan ko ng magpahinga. Pero bago pa man yun kailangan ko magpasalamat kay Lux.

Tinatawagan ko siya pero di niya sinasagot. Siguro tulog na siya… itetext ko na lang siya. Nakakahiya naging bad mood ako ng buong araw sa kanya tapos medyo naiyak pa ako. Kailangan ko talagang bumawi.

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Lux, thank you for this day. Pasensya na kung naging sober ako for today. I hope we could really enjoy ourselves next time.

Nakatitig pa din ako sa text ni Chase kagabi. Eto ulit nilalangaw nanaman yung mga dapat kong gawin sa office. I don’t have the mood since I cried my poor heart out. Mabuti na lang at di ako nag eyebags. Tinawagan niya ako kagabi but I choose not to answer his call. Im not yet ready, I am still confused. Do I really love this guy? Or I’m being in lust with him? Kaya ba ako nasaktan eh dahil may girlfriend siya or mahal niya ang girlfriend niya? At ang gusto ko eh ako ang mahal niya? Am I really aching for his love? I just don’t know but one thing is for sure gusto ko siyang makasama at makasama pa din.

My office phone rang as I answer it sabi ng secretarya ko eh may bisita daw ako. Well, ganto kaaga? Baka si Zeke lang ito or si Kevin. Inutusan ko siya na papasukin yung bisita. Habang busy akong nagbabasa ng reports mukhang pamilyar yung amoy na bumabalot sa office. Naninikip nanaman ang dibdib ko…

“C-chase?” bitaw ko sa binabasa kong reports na bumagsak sa office table ko,

“Hi… breakfast for you.” Itinaas niya yung takeout niya sa pancake house. “Di pa ako nagbrebreakfast eh. Tara kain tayo.” Lumapit siya sa office table. “Okay lang ba?”

I watched him move as he prepared the food in my table. I’m still in awe seeing him here.

“How? Why?”

“Kevin.” He just simply answered, habang inaabot niya sakin ang fork at table knife. “Eat first.”

Is this what they call butterfly in my stomach? Hindi ko alam kung nanadya ba itong si Chase pero sana ipagpatuloy pa niya yung pananadya niya sakin. Hindi ito ang first time na may dumalaw sakin at niyaya akong kumain sa office ko pero bat parang ito ang first time? Yung tamlay ko napalitan ng kilig. Nawala lahat ng iniisip ko kanina and I just want to focus on this very moment with him. Bakit Chase? Bakit simpleng bagay na ginagawa mo… why does it seems to be very special to me?

“Have you been into Enchanted Kingdom?” nakatitig na tanong sakin ni Chase.

“Err no? Why?”

He showed a wicked smile that seems to reach his ears. Oh gholly, I don’t feel good about this.

“Let’s go!”

I’m laughing like a kid, giggling like a high school and I’m excited as hell like all the other kids in Enchanted Kingdom. I truly feel that I made the right choice to be with Chase here who also enjoys himself here while he was wearing the purple wizard hat. Kuh, he looks very cute.

Every touch of his hands sends a delicious sense into my heart. Every sound of his laughs is a wonderful music into my ears. Every inch of his smiles carves a wonderful memory into my soul the most favorite curve in his body.

Desire, lust, happiness and yes maybe Love. Gusto ko ng marami pang ala-ala kasama siya. Gusto ko palaging kasama siya. Gusto ko akin lang siya.

I grabbed his hand and squeeze it. He cocks his head to my side and smiled at me.

“Bakit?”

“Wala. Tara sa gabi ng lagim tayo!” I was laughing at his protest; Chase is a scaredy cat pala huh.

Kahit siya pa ang pinakamatatakuting tao sa buong mundo. Wala akong paki alam. I will protect him anyway.

I love you Chase.

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“Lia?”

“Hi mom!”

“Oh hija! Napatawag ka?”

“Guess what mom?”

“Ano yun anak?”

“I will be arriving tomorrow!”

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Hate

Selfishness

Acceptance

Letting go

Forgiving

And

Good byes

For the last game of Ludus Vita

Game 3 Over