Kamusta po? ^_^ Atin pong i-welcome ang ating mga new authors sa blog!! ^_^ Andyan po si Sean Christopher Bautista, patryckjr, iamDaRKDreaMeR, Giefe Carvajal, Steffano, Andrey, Jace ofcards, Caleb Uriel Tan, at si Lawfer. Para po sa mga interesado maging author din po. Pls email me po sa Maraming salamat po! ^_^

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Saturday, December 20, 2014

4 Minahal ni Bestfriend : Desperado part 27

             Kamusta po sa lahat lahat?! ^_^

             I know it has been a very long time since nagpost ako.. And I am terribly sorry. Sana po ay maintindihan ninyo na I have been very bsy with work kaya I wasnt able to post for the past two yea.. MY GAWD!! 2 YEARS?! Hahahaha! Alright, Im an asshole.. Hahahaha!!  Grabe time flies talaga, ano? 

             But then again, after the looooong wait, nakahanap ako ng time para maipost ito at sana po ay magustuhan ninyo.. 

              I really dont want to keep you gys waiting.. So, yeah.. Enjoy!!


Sunday, November 16, 2014

LOVE AGAIN: Chapter 11

Author’s Note:

Okay guys, I said I was gonna upload last Sunday and I actually planned to do just that kaya lang, di ko nagustuhan ang POV ni Jared. So inulit ko ang Chapter 11 in RINDEL’S POV. So sorry about the delay.


It’s been three days since we last talked. Alam ko na alam na ni Jared na iniiwasan ko siya. That call I got made me think about my motives. Ano nga ba talaga sa akin at bakit ko tinutulungan si Jared. I know I like him but what Rhoi told me 3 days ago got me thinking if I’m the right person for Jared.

Nagliligpit na ako ng gamit para makauwi nang pumasok si Jared sa office. We never talked in the office except for business.

“We need to talk.”,sabi nito.

I sighed. I guess we did have to talk again sooner or later.

“Alright. Let’s do it over dinner.”,sabi ko.

Natulala naman ito. I chuckled. He really did look adorable.

“Just like that?”, he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you ignore me for three days and now pumayag kang makipag-usap over dinner?”, he said incredulously.

“Well, yeah.”, I shrugged.

“Why though? Why were you ignoring me?”

“I thought we’re going over this during dinner?”, I smirked.

“R-right. I’ll grab my stuff.”

“Don’t bother taking your car. You can ride with me.”

We drove silently to Stavross. We ate quietly as well. Alam kong gusto nang mag-usap ni Jared. Halata naman dahil hindi ito mapakali.

“So what do you want to talk about?”, I finally asked after finishing my food.

“You know exactly what I want to talk about. Bakit mo ako iniwasan nitong mga nakaraang araw? Did I do something wrong?”

I smiled at him.

“Stop smiling!”, he exclaimed after three seconds.

Napatawa naman ako sa reaksyon nito. He pouted.

“Okay, I’ll explain everything. I know who you are Jared.”, I said.

“Syempre naman. Assistant mo ako, natural kilala mo ako.”, he retorted.

“No, I mean I know who you are. Like history-wise. I know that you were an actor not so long ago.  You came out. Basically everything.”,sabi ko.

He stared at me in shock.

“How? Paano mo nalaman? Was it the phone call you got? Did you do a CI on me?”,sunod-sunod nitong tanong. He looked hurt.

“Yes. It was the phone call but no, I did not do a CI on you because I know you. I mean, I thought I did. I was really surprised though.”

“But that doesn’t my question. Bakit mo ako iniwasan nang nalaman mo?”

“I was getting there. I avoided you, yes, but not because of the things that I found out.”, I paused. “Okay, maybe it was, but for good reason.  I needed the time to think. Nag-isip ako kung dapat ko pa bang ituloy ang pagtulong sa’yo. What you went through was horrible and natakot ako na baka mangyari ulit yun sa’yo at ako ang maging dahilan. I don’t want to hurt you Jared.”

“But you did anyway. In a way. Nasaktan ako dahil iniwasan mo ako. I know we don’t have a label or anything and that you’re only helping out but it was a kick to my ego when you avoided me after we kissed. I thought it was something I did at paulit-ulit kong inisip kung ano ba ang nagawa ko.”, he said

“No. No. Don’t think that okay? Wala kang ginawang mali. I’m sorry if I somehow hurt your ego.”, I apologized. “Like you said, we don’t have any label and that’s exactly why I needed to clear my head. You might have noticed nawala akong ibang lalakeng pinatulan mula nung magsimula itong set-up natin. I like you Jared. Nasabi ko na ito noon sa’yo di ba? But that’s just it. I have issues, you know that. What If the feelings get too deep and I screw up. I don’t want you to experience what happened in the past again. That would ruin whatever is going on between us and ayokong mangyari yun.”

We were silent after that.

“So ano’ng plano mo?”, he asked after a while.

I smiled.

“I intend to keep my promise. I will still help you.”,sabi ko rito.

“But…”, he trailed.

“No buts. I will help you. That’s it.”

He smiled.

“I missed that smile.”,sabi ko rito. He blushed.

I laughed. He’s just too adorable.

“So you seem really upset that I was ignoring you. Why?”, I asked afterwards.

“I- I just, well, I…”, he stuttered and I grinned. Like I said, adorable.

“You missed me didn’t you?”,tanongkoritosabaygalawngkilay.

He turned a red after I said that saka umiwas ng tingin. “Umuwi na nga tayo.”,sabi nalang nito maya-maya.

Nang nasa kotse na kami pauwi ay nagsalita ito.

“Yes.”, sabiniya.

“Huh?”,takang tanong ko.

“Yes. I missed you. That’s why I was upset.”,paliwanag nito.

I smiled before answering.

“Good because I missed you too. Especially yang ngiti mo.”, sabi ko rito which made him grin at me.

Nang makarating kami sa bahay ay nagbihis agad ako. I checked my bag for the files I needed to look over pero wala ito roon kaya pinuntahan ko ang kotse. I was right. Naroon nga ang mga papeles. Isasara ko na sana ang pintuan ng kotse nang biglang may umilaw sa passenger seat. It was Jared’s phone indicating a low battery. Kinuha ko ito para ihatid kay Jared.

I knocked on his door ngunit walang sumagot. Binuksan ko ang pintuan at muntik nang mabitawan ang hawak kong mga papeles. Jared was almost naked. He only had his underwear on at aktong magsusuot ng t-shirt.

“Oh shit!”,pasigaw nitong sabi.

I was just stunned. He had such a beautiful body. I still looked at him like a kid looking at a chocolate cake on his birthday. I knew right then and there that I wanted him.

“Uhm, Rindel, if you don’t mind-“, naputol na ang kung ano mang sasabihin nito.

I closed that distance between us and kissed him. God I missed kissing him. I know I only kissed him twice but I couldn’t get enough.

He was shocked at first but then followed suit. He kissed me back.

My right hand made its way to his back and my left at the back of his neck. We kissed for who knows how long. Naghiwalay ang aming mga labi but only to breath. I put my forehead against his.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself. You’re just so fucking hot.”

“Should I take that as a compliment?”, he asked. Breathless.

“Yes.”, I said and took his lips again.

We fell onto the bed. The kiss never breaking. Maya-maya pa ay tinanggal nito ang suot kong damit. I let him. He threw it on the floor. I could feel his growing erection on my thigh and I’m sure he could feel mine. He flipped us over so that he could be on top on me while kissing. I let my hands travel down his smooth back. I found the waistband of his boxer briefs and I played with them, teasing him.

I slipped my hands into his underwear and squeezed his ass. God, does this man have to be smooth all over? I thought.

Tumigil ito sa paghalik sa akin. He looked at me. Then spoke. “Take me.”

It took me a moment to process what he said. When I did, I’m pretty sure my eyes went out of their sockets.



Don't kill me! Hahaha! I love you guys! :)

Monday, November 3, 2014

LOVE AGAIN: Chapter 10


I had to admit. Nakakapanibagosaopisinangayongwalasi Jared. He always managed to keep the place alive with his jokes and witty comebacks. Sadyangmasiyahinsiyangtao. He has this infectious smile that whenever he does, the people around him can't help but smile as well. Now, I can't wait to go home and see that smile.

Home.Napailing ako. I never considered anywhere my home. After all, I was always alone. For me, a home is a place where you and your loved ones live. Not just a shelter to sleep in, eat in and to stay in. Now, thinking about where Jared and I live and considering it home somehow is a shock to me. Do I love Jared? Am I seriously in love with my assistant after a few days of being together? And not even together as boyfriends.

I smiled. Maybe I am.

Mabilis kong niligpit ang mga pinirmahan kong mga papeles para makauwi ako. Maybe I should get something for Jared.

I decided to call him and ask what he wanted for dinner.

"Hello?",pagsagot nito.

"Hey, sorry, did I wake up?", I asked when I noticed his raspy voice.

"Yeah. It's fine though.",sagot niya.

"Sorry. I should make it up to you. Do you want something to eat? I'll buy it on the way home.",sabi ko.

"Naku, hindina. Wag kana mag-abala.", tutolnito.

"I want to. Saka alam kong wala na tayong supply sa pagkain kaya hindi na rin tayo makakapagluto. Unless gusto mong noodles nalangangkaininnatin for dinner.",pagkontrakonamanrito.

He chuckled.

"If you insist then I think I want some Chinese food”, sabinito.

“Yun lang?”

Yeah, yun lang.”, sagotnito.

“Okay, Chinese food coming right up. Can you wait for thirty minutes?”

“Sure. What if your late?”, he asked in a challenging tone.

“Then you get a kiss for free.”

Tumawaito. As I listened to him laugh, I found a smile slowly creeping its way on to my face.

Then your time starts now Rindel.”,sabi nito saka tumawa bago pinatay ang tawag.

Napatawa nalang rin ako.

I better get moving then. Slowly.

As I drove to a nearby Chinese restaurant, I can’t help but think that I forgot to ask something. Nakalimutan kong itanong kung may particular na pagkain ba siyang gusting kainin. So I decided to buy a lot of menus.

Nadatnan kong nanonood ng Oculus siJared. He was scared. Alam ko dahil nagulat siya nang buksan ko ang pintuan.

Natawa ako sa kanyang naging reaksyon. Dahilan para batuhin ako nito ng throw pillow.

“Hahaha! Nakita mo sana ang mukha mo! Takot na takot ka oh!”,panunukso ko sa kanya.

“Ikaw ba naman ang manood ng pelikulang nakakatakot mag-isa tapos biglang may magbukas ng pintuan, hindi kamatakot!”,naiinis nitong sagot.

Patuloy pa rin ako sa pagtawa at naupo nalang ito sa sofa at sumimangot.

“Alright. I’m sorry.”,sabi ko habang pinipigilan ang tawa.

Hindi ito kumibo.

“Hey, sorry na. It was mean of me to laugh.”,pagsuyo ko rito ngunit hindi pa rin ako nito pinansin.

I decided to sit down beside him. I put the take out on the center table. Humarap ako sa kanya ngunit iniiwas nito ang tingin sa akin. I held his shoulders and made him face me.

“I’m sorry.”,sabikorito. This time, hindi ako tumawa.

He looked into my eyes. Then he nodded.

“I know what will make you forgive me.”

I quickly went to the kitchen and got eating utensils as well as two drinking glasses. I took out the takeout from the bag. I placed them on the table.

“Bakit parang andami ng pinamili mo?”,takang tanong nito.

“Aha!! Nagsalita ka rin!”

He rolled his eyes at my childish reaction.

I just grinned at him.

“Bakit nga? Andami nyan.Paano natin uubusin yan?”,sabi nito. Naiiritanaulit.

“Relax. I forgot to ask you what you wanted so I kinda bought everything.”,paliwanag ko sa kanya.

“Ha? Eh di sana nagtext ka sa akin. Masasayang lang yan.”

“Nope. We can always re-heat these tomorrow. Yun ay kung may sobra.”

Tumango ito. “Ano ba ang mga pinili mo?”,tanong niya.

“Um, we have Orange Chicken, Szechuan Noodles with Spicy Beef Sauce, Chinese Green Beans and Lettuce Wraps.”

Biglang tumunog ang tiyan ni Jared nang matapos kong sabihin kung ano-ano ang pinamili ko.

I looked at him and noticed a tinge of pink on his cheeks.

“See. Gutom ka.Mauubos natin to.”,sabi ko na nakangiti.

“Shut up. Syempre gutom ako. It’s been 48 minutes. Kanina pa ako naghihintay.”

I looked at my watch and saw that it’s already 7:52 PM. I smiled at this.

“So I guess I owe you a kiss.”,sabi ko sa kanyang nakangisi sabay galaw ng mga kilay.

“Sabihinmo, sinadya mo lang talagang tagalan para makahalik ka sakin.”,sabi nito sabay kuha ng pagkain at nilagay sa pinggan nito.

I just smiled and did the same before answering.

“So you’re saying you don’t like my kiss?”, I challenged.

“No, I didn’t say that.”

“So you do like my kisses?”, I challenged again.

“I didn’t say that either.”, he said and took a bite of orange chicken.

I laughed at this.

“So am I forgiven?”, I asked.

“Yes. But only because you bought so much food.”

“Fair enough. But tell me if it was the other way around, would you not laugh?”, I asked.

He was quiet. Then looked at me and laughed.

“Okay, fine, I would totally laugh if it was you who got scared.”

At nagtawanan kami.Pinatuloy naming ang panonood ng Oculus habang kumakain. Maya-maya pa ay natapos na ito at napagpasyahan naming manood pa ng isa pang pelikula.

“The Fault in Our Stars? Seryoso ka ba?”, I asked.

He nodded. “Yes. Matagal ko na to gustong mapanood eh.”, he said.

“Fine.”, I said habang nililigpit ang mga napagkainan namin.

It turns out, the movie was great. Sad and heartbreaking but beautiful nonetheless. I found myself crying at some point of the movie. Ganun rin si Jared.

He ended up resting his head on my shoulders again throughout the movie. Nang matapos ang pelikula ay nagpunas ito ng luha saka tumingin sa ‘kin.

“Ang unfair naman nun.”,sabinito. “May cancer nangasila, ganun pa ang love story nila.”

I nodded. “Apparently the world is not a wish-granting factory.”, I quoted from the movie.


“But you know what?”, I asked him.


“Mas gusto koyungganun.”,sabiko.

“Ang mamatay sa cancer?”,takang tanong niya.

“Loko! Hindi!”, I laughed. “I meant their love story. Yes, it was short and yes, it was bittersweet but it was true. It was real and nothing could ever replace true love. Sabi pa ngani Hazel Grace di ba, “Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.”,pero hindi yun nagging hadlang sa pagmamahalan nilang dalawa.”

“Did that happen? Sayo?”, he asked.

I was taken aback. Hindi pa palaalamni Jared kung bakitakoganito. Kung bakit papalit-palit ako ng lalake na para bang damit. I thought about if I should tell him or not. I decided on the latter.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”, I said saka tumayo nang bigla ako nitong hawakan sa kamay.

I looked at him. He was looking down.

“I - I’d like to c-claim the kiss.”,pagkakuwan ay sabiniya.

I chuckled.

I then pulled him up and asked him to look at me.

He did and then I kissed him. I kissed him slowly yet I poured all my feelings for him in that kiss. I slipped my tongue into his mouth. He gave me access and our tongues danced for dominance. We kissed for what seemed like eternity. Then we stopped. Both breathless.Parehong ayaw bumitaw sa pagkakayakap ng isa’t-isa. I didn’t even notice how his hands went into my hair and how my hands made their way under his shirt.

He was going to say something pero natigil iyon nang biglang mag-ring ang cellphone ko.



Dun dun dun!! Cliffhanger! Okay, This is probably the longest chapter I’ve written for this story. I am so proud of myself. Hahaha! I hope you guys are still reading this because I now have the time and resources to write. Comments please and recommend to other readers na kilala ninyo!

SPECIAL THANKS to Alfred of TO.Thank you Alfred for not giving up on my story despite my slow updates in the past. I’ll try to work faster. 


Sunday, October 5, 2014

LOVE AGAIN: Chapter 9


“So, a little birdy told me that you’re living with someone?”, sabi ni Rhoi sa akin nang makipagkita ako sa kanya.

“Paano mo nalaman?”, I asked curiously.

“Well, your credit card is still under my name after all and the billing goes to the hotel. You can guess what happens after I see a lot of recent purchases.”

Natawa naman ako sa sinabi nito. Of course he would check what’s up with the bill eh sa dami ng pinamili naming gamit sa bahay, malamang umabot ng ilang daang libo ang bill nun.

“Well, yeah. He’s name is Jared. He’s interesting.”, I said and then took a sip of my coffee.
Napabuntunghininga naman si Rhoi.

“Oh no. Here comes the lecture.”, naisip ko.

“Mark, you know that you’re going o hurt him in the end. Bakit mo naman naisip na makipag live-in sa sarili mong secretary?”

“Hey, it’s not like sasaktan ko siya. He’s different. I can feel it.”

“Look, I’m not trying to be an ass pero sinabi mo rin yan tungkol sa ex mong ginago ka lang.”

“At least give me a shot at this. I’ve realized that I can’t keep going through different guys every time. I also have plans of settling down and this might be it with him. If it doesn’t work out then boohoo, I’ll move on and so will he. But for now, I can tell that we both want this.”

He looked at me. I can see concern in his eyes.

He sighed and spoke. “Okay. But be careful.”

Tumango lang ako.

“I mean it. Be careful not to hurt him and hurt yourself.”

“Opo itay!”, pabiro kong sabi rito. Dahilan upang kutusan ako nito.

“I’m serious Mark.”

I looked at my cousin’s face. He really is serious.

“I know. I am too.”

We just sat there and enjoyed each other’s company for a while before I decided to go back to work.

I woke up to the smell of bacon. I looked around for Rindel pero wala sya. I must’ve slept in.
Tinungo ko ang kusina, nagbabakasakaling naroon siya ngunit wala rin. Sa halip ay may nakita akong maliit na piraso ng papel na nakaipit sa baso sa lamesa.

“I went ahead for work. Masyadong mahimbing ang tulog mo kaya hinayaan nalang kita. Last night was perfect. I’ll see you at work. Or not. -RINDEL

Napangiti ako sa nabasa ko. I remembered falling asleep in his arms. Hindi ko akalain na may gusto rin pala sa akin si Rindel.

Nagpasya akong kumain na at nang makapunta na ako sa opisina. Don’t judge! I am going there for work! Well, that and to see Rindel. I’d still have to act professionally and be just his secretary when we’re at work.

Matapos kumain ay mabilis akong naligo at nagbihis. I checked if I have everything; my phone, wallet, keys at nang masigurong dala ko lahat ay ini-lock ko na ang bahay at tinungo ang garahe. It’s a good thing that I have my car or else mahihirapan akong lumabas ng subdivision.

Papasok na dapat ako ng kotse nang may tumawag sa aking atensyon.

“Excuse me?!”, pasigaw na tawag ng isang di pamilyar na lalaki sa aking atensyon.

“Po? Ako po?”, tanong ko rito.

“Yeah. Uhm, andyan ba si Mark?”, tanong nito?

“I’m sorry, sino po?”, takang tanong ko rito.

“Ahh, si Mark, Mark Rindel?”

“I see. Umalis na po siya eh.”

“Ganun ba? Ikaw ba si Jared?”, patuloy na tanong nito.

“O-opo.”, alangan kong sagot rito.

“Please, drop the formalities. Hindi naman yata nagkakalayo ang mga edad natin. I’m Rhoi by the way. Rhoi Justin. Pinsan ako ni Mark.”, pagpapakilala nito sabay abot ng kamay.

“Jared.”, pakilala ko sabay abot sa kamay nito. “But you already knew that.”, dagdag ko kapagkwan.
He chuckled at this.

“I’m sorry. I know this is sudden but I need to talk to you about Mark. Would it be okay if you’d come with me?”

“Ahh, eh, papunta na kasi ako sa trabaho eh.”, pagdadahilan ko dito. Malay ko bang kidnapper pala siya. Pero ang gwapong kidnapper naman neto. Syempre hindi ko naman talaga masisiguradong pinsan nga ito ni Rindel kung kaya ay hindi ako agad-agad na pumapayag.

“I know you’re in doubt but I could call Rindel. I’m sure it won’t be a problem if you miss work for today.”, sabi nito na para bang nabasa ang iniisip ko.

“Naku, wag na. Baka makaabala pa sa trabaho niya. I’ll go with you. I’ll just send him a message.”, sabi ko rito.

“Great! Tara. You can ride with me or you can use your own car if you’re uncomfortable. Any way is fine.”, sabi nitong nakangiti.

“Yeah. I think I’ll just use my car.”, sabi ko rito saka tumalikod at pumasok sa kotse ko.

Honestly, it crossed my mind to not follow him. But something in my gut told me that he’s not a bad person. So sinundan ko ito hanggang sa makarating kami sa isang branch ng Starbucks na malapit sa opisina.

We looked for a seat at umorder ng maiinom. He insisted that he would pay for our drinks para daw makabawi siya sa abala niya sa akin.

“So.”, simula nito. “Ang totoo niyan ay hindi alam ni Rindel na pinuntahan kita. You see, we just talked earlier and we talked about you.”
He was straight to the point. Walang paligoy-ligoy.

“Ako? Why me?”, tanong ko rito.

“Well, sort of. We were actually talking about both of you.”


“As you know, Mark hasn’t exactly been a saint. He’s had his fair share for adventures, ika nga. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

“I don’t see why I have anything to do with it.”, I said truthfully.

“For starters, because I know you have a thing going on with him. I’m not sure if you would put a label on it but I could see that you have a mutual understanding. You like each other – to put it simply. And I think that it’s fair to warn you beforehand.”

“Warn me about what?”, I asked. This time confused.

“About Mark.”

“What about Mark?”, I asked cautiously.

“I know you know na may reputasyon sa pagiging playboy ang pinsan ko. He hasn’t been in a relationship for a long time and all he did was hook-up with random men and I don’t want you to get hurt if he goes back to his old habits. You seem like a really nice guy and he may be my cousin but I think you’re too good for him.”, paliwanag nito.

“I get what you’re trying to say. Pero it may be a little too late.”, I said 

Napakunot ito ng noo. "What do you mean?", tanong nito.

"I mean, I think I may have developed a crush on Rindel.", I said not looking into his eyes. Alam kong namumula ang pisngi ko dahil ramdam ko ang pag-init nito.

I faintly heard him chuckle.

"I guess wala na tayong magagawa. But I would advice you to be cautious.", tumayo ito saka tinungo ang pintuan ng coffee shop. Ngunit bago ito tuluyang lumabas ay muli itong nagsalita.

"I think you're going to be a good influence to Rindel. Just don't give up on him.", sabi nito saka tuluyang umalis.

Napagpasyahan kong umuwi nalang at hueag nang pumasok sa opisina. I need to think this through. Ano ba 'tong pinasok ko?

Dumating ako sa bahay at nagpahinga sa kwarto. Maya-maya pa ay tumunog ang cellphone ko.

It was Rindel calling.

"Hello.", sagot ko.

"Nasaan ka? I've been waiting for you.", tanong nito. Halatang iritado.

"Sorry, nagpasya akong wag na muna pumasok. Medyo sumama kasi ang pakiramdam ko.", sabi ko rito. It wasn't an entire lie. I was feeling a bit of headache but nothing a good rest can't cure.

"Are you alright? Do you want me to come home?", tanong nitong malumanay na ang boses.

I shook my head no, kahit na hindi nya naman nakikita. "Huwag na. You need to be in the office. Sorry hindi ko matrack lahat ng appointments mo ngayon but don't forget the 4:00 PM meeting at the JX Building with Mr. Ricamonte. Importante yun."

"I understand. Sige. Magpahinga ka nalang. I'll get there as soon as I can.",sagot nito.

Tumango ako. "Okay. Bye.", and I dropped the call.

I kept on repeating what Rhoi said earlier in my head. Tama ba 'tong ginagawa ko? I mean, I could also move on without his help. Pero hindi ako titigilan ni Nick. Ugh!! I hate my life!


Wednesday, July 30, 2014

When I was Your Man

written by Rogue Mercado

AUTHOR’s NOTE:   Tagging some people I know that asked me to write something o humihingi ng update. As much as possible Im taking it easy sa pagsusulat. If you were offended that I tagged you, feel free to untag yourselves. Before reading this story, alam kong pamilyar ang kanta sa lahat, I recommend na pakinggan niyo tong cover na ito on a repeat mode.

Salamat sa pagpapahiram ng oras niyo!


Uso pa ba ang diary ngayon? Siguro?

Lalo na sa mga taong kagaya ko  na unti-unting sinukuan ng bait. Ewan. Eto a lang siguro yung sandalan ko ngayon habang unti-unting gumuguho yung dating perpektong mundo ko.

Alam mo diary, love letter sana isusulat ko. Pero wala rin eh, gagawin lang kitang masalimuot na resulta ng kadramahan ko.

Saan ba ko magsisimula? Dear Diary?, Sa petsa ngayon?, Sa pagpunas ng luha ko? o Sa Kagaguhan ko? Nakarami na pala ako.

Siguro sa imahinasyon na isinusugod ako sa isang malaking gusali. Natataranta yung mga tao. Yung kabuuan ng gusaling yun parang Heaven ‘pre.  Basta nakahiga ako sa kama pero may gulong yung kama. Na para bang unit-unti akong tinatangay sa sakit na ito patungo sa walang kasiguruhang destinasyon.

Maya maya ipinasok ako sa loob ng isang silid. Andaming ilaw. Parang heaven nga. Pagkatapos yung mga taong nakaputi nakasuot ng maskara at luntiang damit. Teka, May green bang anghel? Pero ewan ko. Ang alam ko lang yung tugtuging pumapailanlang sa loob ng kwarto.

Bruno Mars? nNice. Parang nasa bar lang ah. Parang nung tayo? Siguro pinapatugtog nila yan para marelax sa kung ano man ang gagawin nila sakin. Hindi man ako sigurado kung ano nga ba ang gagawin nila. Magkikwento na lang siguro ako? Sige…..

“Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now”

Naaalala ko pa nung una kitang makita. Sa isang bar na lagi kong tinatambayan. Nakaputi ka noon, tandang tanda ko. Nurse? I guess. Alam mo yung mas basa pa yung mata mo kaysa sa La Mesa Dam. May apat na basyo ng bote sa tabi mo. Alam ko na yung mga eksenang ganyan. Gawain ng mga wasak ang puso.

                                “Hi ‘dre. Lorenzo pala. Nagsosolo ka ah?”

Alam kong nagiisa ka talaga. Papansin lang talaga ako. Gusto kitang bad trip-in o gusto ko lang sirain yung emo moment mo. At Oo, sa gwapo mong yun, imposibleng hindi kita lapitan.

“Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same”

Tiningnan mo ko ng matagal. Matagal na matagal/ Kinikilatis mo yata kung drug pusher ako o manloloko o gago.

                                “ Angelo”
Maikli mong pakilala. Sabay lagok nung beer na pang anim na yata. Oorder ka pa sana noon. Pero hinawi ko kamay mo na nagtatawag ng waiter.

                                “Ano ba! Tangina mo ah!”
                                “ I was about to say na meron akong alam na lugar na pwede kang magdrama na walang huhusga sa iyo”

Nagisip ka. Tuliro ka pa rin. Alam ko dumagdag ako sa problema mo na nagpataong patong na. Pero wala akong pakialam. Normal ko ng ginagawa ang mga ganito.

                                “May beer ba dun?”
Kumindat ako.
                                “Yeah. Unlimited Beer. Yun na nga tubig ko eh”