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Monday, February 2, 2015

LOVE AGAIN: Chapter 12

Author's Note:

I accidentally deleted chapter 12. Hay. Nag-iinarte kasi ang mouse ng computer ko. Anyway. Here is Chapter 12. Again.



We just lied in his bed. We were quiet for a few minutes after the heated scene that just happened.

“So.”, simula nito. “Does this mean that our deal is off?”, tanong nito.

I turned to look at him.

“Really?”, I asked him. How could he not get that I really like him?

“What? Di ba ganun naman ang usual na nangyayari?  You meet someone, you fuck him once and then leave him.”

“Jared, I like you. Uulitin ko na naman ba? I won’t leave you, alright?”

He was quiet. He then moved his head to nod.

“But we don’t have any label.”, he said.

“Do you want us to have a label?”


I chuckled. “Tanong ba yun?”

He also chuckled. “Yes.”

“Yes, tanong yun or yes you want us to have  a label?”

“Yes about the label.”

I kept quiet, thinking if it’s a good idea to be in a relationship with Jared. I mean, yeah I like him but I don’t know if I like him enough to be in a relationship with him.

“I - It’s okay if you don’t want to. I’m just throwing the option out there just in case.”,  he added quickly after I didn’t speak for a few seconds.

“No, I actually want us to be in a relationship but I have to warn you, I’m high maintenance.”

He sat up. A grin plastered on his face.

“Really?”, he asked excitedly.

I chuckled at his childish reaction.

“Yes, really. Now lay back down boyfriend. My arms miss you.”

He happily obliged.

“You know, mag-boyfriend na tayo but I realize we don’t even know each other well.”

“Oo nga ano? Let’s play 20 questions.”, he suggested.

“Sure. Hindi ko nga lang ma-gets kung bakit 20 questions ang tawag sa larong yan eh lagi naming sumusobra ang mga tinatanong.”

He laughed. “Yeah, ako nga rin eh. You start.”

“Uhm, favorite food.”

“Anything pasta but more on lasagna and cheesy stuff. Most embarrassing moment?”

“That’s unfair.”

“Why? It’s a fair question.”, he said, chuckling slightly.

“I’m starting to hate this game.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Just answer the question. Come on.”

“Uhm, cumming within two minutes of foreplay.”


“Don’t rub it in!”

“But how? We lasted a lot longer than that earlier.”

“I was a virgin back then. I didn’t know anything about control and I just got too excited that I came bago pa man matanggal ang pantalon ko.”

This time he laughed really hard.

“Stop laughing! It’s not funny.”

“Yes it is.”, sabi nitong patuloy pa rin sa pagtawa which made me pout.

“Awww. Come here.”, sabi nito saka ako hinalikan sa labi. “It’s okay. It’s embarrassing and funny but first times are like that. I’m sure hindi lang ikaw ang nag-iisang nagpalabas ng maaga sa inaasahan. The good thing about it is that, we learn from those experiences and we can laugh at ourselves.”

I looked into his eyes and smiled.

“Yeah. It really is funny.”, I said and he laughed. I found myself laughing with him after a while.

“How about you? Your most embarrassing moment?”, I asked.

“Hmmm. Probably fifth grade.”, he said.


“Every December kasi ay may variety show ang school namin. Since provate school, we use the variety show as a fund raiser for school improvements. So for this variety show, selected kids get to perform. They either dance or sing or do an act and I was always chosen to sing. Kaya lang that year, I was already early in puberty. Kaya naturally, hindi stable ang boses ko and the piece I chose is Forever’s Not Enough by Sarah Geronimo and To Love You More by Celine Dion dahil yun ang sikat that time. I thought I had it at hindi ako papalpak but when the high note came for Forever’s Not Enough, pumiyok ako. It was embarrassing kasi yung family ko na naghihiyawan sa gilid, biglang tumahimik at naupo. I still continued to sing though.”, he explained laughing every now and then. I chuckled at his story and imagined what he looked like younger and how he must have sounded back then.

He’s just so animated when he tells stories and he always finds the silver lining when things get tough. That’s one of the qualities I admired about him.

“Now that you mention it, hindi pa kita naririnig kumanta.”, I egged him.

“Oh no. No, I’m a better actor than a singer though.”, he said trying to get out of the situation.

“Just a few lines. Please?”, I persuaded.


“For me?”

“Ugh! Don’t get used to using that line against me.”, he said.

It took him a few moments before he actually sang.

“Come on. Naghihintay ako. Lulumutin na ako di ka pa kumakanta”

Muli itong naupo at sumandal sa headboard ng kama. I did the same.

He just rolled his eyes and starting singing.

I never meant to be the one to let you down
If anything I thought I saw myself going first
Didn’t know how to stick around
How to see anybody but me be getting hurt
I keep remembering the summer night
And the conversation breaking up the mood
I didn’t wanna tell you were right
Like the season changing, oh, I felt it too

Does anybody know how to hold my heart?
How to hold my heart
‘Cause I don’t wanna let go, let go, let go too soon
I wanna tell you so before the sun goes dark
How to hold my heart
‘Cause I don’t wanna let go, let go, let go of you

“Can you finish the song?”, I asked him. I loved this song by Sara Bareilles and his voice just made the song more emotional and he really is a great singer.

I’m not the kind to try to tell you lies
But the truth is you’ve been hiding from it too
I see the end sneaking in behind your eyes
Saying things no words could ever do

Does anybody know how to hold my heart?
How to hold my heart
‘Cause I don’t wanna let go, let go, let go too soon
I wanna tell you so before the sun goes dark
How to hold my heart
‘Cause I don’t wanna let go, let go, let go of you

Is anybody listening?
‘Cause I’m crying
Is anybody listening?

Does anybody know how to hold my heart?
How to hold my heart
‘Cause I don’t wanna let go, let go, let go too soon
I wanna tell you so before the sun goes dark
How to hold my heart
‘Cause I don’t wanna let go, let go, let go of you

Does anybody know how to hold my heart?
How to hold my heart
‘Cause I don’t wanna let go, let go, let go too soon
I wanna tell you so before the sun goes dark
How to hold my heart
‘Cause I don’t wanna let go, let go, let go of you

I kissed him when he finished the song.

“That was beautiful Jared. I never knew you had a great voice.”, sabi ko rito.

He smiled and I saw a blush on his cheeks.


“Can I ask you something?”

“That’s already a question.”, he stated and I rolled my eyes.

Tumawa naman ito. “Sure.”

“Bakit ka humito sa pag-aartista?”

“I was afraid you’d ask that.”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer, I just wanted to know.”

“Di, okay lang.”, he said and smiled. “I was actually only doing acting because I needed the money. Not for me. Kasi may kaya naman ang pamilya namin. It was for my ex.”

“Nick?”, tanong ko.

“Yeah. He was studying to become a doctor and it’s expensive so I promised to pay for his schooling. We had so many plans. I thought hindi na kami maghihiwalay. I was happy with him. He was sweet, caring, responsible, smart too and not bad for the eyes either. Pero nagkaroon ng scholarship for aspiring doctors. Nung sinabi niya sa akin syempre masaya ako para sa kanya dahil isa siya sa limang tao na nabiyayaan nun however, nung nalaman kong sa ibang bansa pala ang scholarship, I told him what I thought and said that I’d continue paying for his school wag lang kami maghiwalay dahil hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko ang long distance relationship. Eventually he chose the scholarship over me saying he had to do it for our future.”

I nodded. “So naghiwalay kayo not because of anyone’s involvement? Like third party or something?”

“No, he was loyal and we were in the relationship one hundred percent. Pero masakit pa rin sa akin yung iniwan niya ako because of his ambition. You must think na ang selfish ko kasi hindi ko man lang inintindi ang sitwasyon niya at hindi ko sinuportahan ang pangarap niya.”

“I’m sure you had your reasons.”, sabi ko rito.

“Yeah, I do. I was also given a choice before kami nag live-in. It was either I break up with him or lose my family. I chose him over my family Mark. I gave up seeing my family, my nephews and nieces just to be with him. Pero siya hindi niya man lang magawang mag-stay ditto para sa’kin. It’s not like hindi siya magiging doctor kung ditto siya mag-aaral sa Pilipinas.”

This time he was already shedding tears. Pinunasan ko ang mga luhan nito gamit ang mga hinlalaki ko. I then kissed him.

“Shh, tahan na. He’s not worth it. I’m here now and will do everything in my power to keep you. Okay?”, I said.

He nodded and smiled.

“Iniisip mo siguro na may feelings pa ako sa kanya kasi iniiyakan ko pa rin siya.”

“No. I don’t think that. I know that feelings never really just disappear, they just grow smaller by time.”, sabi ko rito.

He smiled. “Thank you.”, he said.

“For what?”, tanong ko rito.

“For listening. For not judging me. For being here with me right now.”

This time ako naman ang ngumiti.

“There’s no way I’d rather be.”, I replied.

At that moment, nangako ako sa sarili kong hindi ko papakawalan ang taong ito. I feel really protective of Jared. I swear that I would never let him hurt like that again.



  1. This is the most touching episode. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Take care.

  2. Napublish na ito....

  3. Yes, @manila_sex_actor. Nabura po kasi siya kaya ni-repost ko. :)

  4. Wala pa bang update? Please Mr Author, update na po.