Dark Ken Stories

Friday, June 1, 2012

"i love you"

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers. However, we love each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only but by his side, there were so many other girls and gays. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just his partner…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me like it was nothing. To him, I was just his partner. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till the 100th day… 200th day… Everyday before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…
Me: Um, Jin, I…
Jin: What… Don’t drag, just say...
Me: I love you.
Jin: ...You... Um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday filled my room, one by one. There were many…
Then one day my 15th year old birthday arrived. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him. Hence I stayed at home in my room and waited for his call. Lunch passed... Dinner passed… And soon the sky was dark… He still didn’t call. I was already tired from looking at the phone for the whole day. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin…
Jin: Here… Take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what day is today?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt devastated, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted…

“Wait…”
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him.
But he simply said, “I don’t want to say that I love someone so easily... If you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he… At that moment, I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…

After that day, I found myself stranded at home crying everyday. He didn’t call me even though I waited for his call. He continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… Everyday.

After a month, I pull myself together and went to school. But the pain resurfaced when I saw him on a street with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room. Tears fell… Why did he give these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls… In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him and this is going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating himfor acting like nothing had happened and making a joke out of it. Soon, he held out the doll as usual to hand it over to me.
Me: I don’t need it.
Jin: What? Why?
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, he was shaking.
“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You are so stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and went to pick the doll. Then…
Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me as he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!” HONK~!!
“Boom!” A terrifying sound rang through the whole neighborhood..
That’s how he left me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
Since that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and sadness of losing him.

After spending two months in despair, I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the number days when we were in love…

“One… Two… Three…” That was how I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… Four hundred and eighty five…” It ended with 485 dolls.
I started to cry again with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly and then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the doll in shock.
“I…. lo..ve… you??” I picked up the doll and pressed it's stomach.
“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls on their stomachs.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”

Those words came out non-stop. I… love you… Why didn’t I realize that? His heart was always by my side protecting me! Why didn’t I realize that he loved me this much? I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach. That was the last doll. The one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. I recognized the voice that I was missing so much.

“Jo… Do you know what day is today? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… Since I was too shy… If you will forgive me and take this doll, I will say I love you everyday till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of my eyes. Why? Why? I asked god. Why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side but he loved me until his last minute…

For that reason… To me… It became courage… To live a beautiful life.

If you love someone, let him/her know. Live a life bravely and truthfully and you will have no regrets.

Minahal ni Bestfriend: Ryan part 1

Magandang araw po sa lahat!! Kamusta po kayo? ^_^

Taso puso ko pong ihinahatid sa inyo ang ikalawang yugto ng "Minahal ni Bestfriend". Kung matatandaan nyo po ay nasabi ko po sa Introduction ang magiging malaking pagbabago sa ikalawang yugto. Sana po ay maibigan nyo pa rin po ito. At ang tanging layunin ko lang po ay makapag inspire at "maka-touch" ng buhay kahit po sa simpleng paraan na ito.

Hindi na po ako masyado magpapahaba ng remarks. Enjoy na lang po kayo!! ^_^

COMMENTS AND VIOLENT REACTIONS HIGHLY APPRECIATED

Minahal ni Bestfriend Book 2 Introduction

Kamusta po sa lahat? ^_^

Ako po itong muli, si Dark Ken. Ang naghatid po sa inyo ng “Minahal ni Bestfriend”. It has been a very long time since nakapagpost ako muli ng aking kwento. Kaya naman po gusto ko po magbalik at magbigay inspirasyon sa lahat po ng mambabasa dito sa blog na ito. Sa totoo lang, namiss ko din po talaga ang pagsusulat. Kaya sana po ay pagpasenyahan nyo na kung ano mang kwento ang maihahatid ko sa inyo dahil sa katagalan ko pong hindi nakapagsulat.

Anyways, natatandaan po siguro ng iba dito ang aking akdang “MNB” o ang “Minahal ni Bestfriend. Kung matatandaan nyo po ay sinabi ko po sa huling parte ng kwento na nagbabalak po ako gawan ito ng Book 2. Kaya po, buong puso ko pong ihinahandog sa inyo ang Ikalawang yugto ng aking nobela. Kaso nga lang po ay magkakaroon po ng isang malaking pagbabago sa aking Ikalawang yugto. Kung matatandaan nyo po na ang original MNB ay based po sa aking buhay. Ako bilang si Jerry. Ngunit ikinalulungkot ko po sabihin na sa Book 2 po ay fiction na po ang lahat ng kaganapan. Ang halos lahat po ay base sa aking malikot na pagiisip at malawak na imahinasyon. Ngunit ito po ang surpresa, may mga part pa rin po doon na nangyari talaga sa akin. Hindi ko na lang po babanggitin kung alin dun. :P

Ngayon po, ang tanging kahilingan ko po sana ay maibigan nyo po kahit pa nagkaroon ng malaking pagbabago sa MNB. Marami po siguro sa inyo ang magtatanong kung bakit ko ginawang fiction ang Book 2 at hindi na itinuloy ang kwento nila Jerry at Philip. Sasagutin ko na rin po ito ngayon din. Ang rason ko po ay ayaw ko na po talagang pag-usapan ang mga sumunod na nangyari dahil hindi pa po ako handing i-share o pag-usapan ito. Kaya po sana ay maintindihan nyo po itong lahat. Who knows, na balang araw ay kaya ko ng ikwento at ibahagi sa inyo ang mga sumunod na kaganapan. :)

Ok, moving on. ^_^.. Ang aking ikalawang yugto ay papamagatan ko pong, “Minahal ni Bestfriend: Ryan”. Sana po ay maibigan nyo at suportahan nyo katulad po ng ginawa ng karamihan po sa inyo noong unang akda ko.

Sa totoo lang po, ay talagang kinakabahan ako sa pagpopost nitong ikalawang yugto ko. Kasi po, baka hindi po magustuhan ng karamihan sa inyo. Ang tanging hiling ko po lamang ay makapagbigay ako ng inspirasyon sa mga magbabasa po nito. Hindi naman po ako nageexpect ng malaki, gusto ko lang po talagang “maka-touch” ng buhay kahit sa simpleng paraan na ito. ^_^

Ah sya, masyado na akong maraming sinabi. Ito nap o ang pinaka sypnosis ng aking “Minahal ni Bestfriend: Ryan”

Hanggang saan nga ba ang linya ng pagkakaibigan? Hanggang kelan maikukubli ang tunay na nararamdaman para sa pag saalang alang ng pagkakaibigan? Ano nga ba ang kaya mong ibigat sa ngalan ng pagibig at ng pagkakaibigan?

Two sworn bestfriends, Ryan and Larc. Turn the wheels of fate as they venture on their own roller coaster ride of emotions.

Larc- From being the town’s joke to your official Hottie. Always had his bestfriend in every aspect of his life. Literally from being a weakling to the day he has been strong. And now as he lives the life he always wanted, hanggang saan ang kaya nyang isakripisyo para pakaingatan ang buhay na inaasam? Ano ang handa nyang igive up para wag lang bumalik sa buhay na kinakatakutan?

Ryan- Always been the team player all the way. The nicest guy you’ll ever know. Has been ever supportive of his bestfriend, Larc. Pero has been secretly inlove with his bestfriend.Truly, the bond between the two is as strong as any weatherd wall, or atleast that’s the way he think it is. But is it really as stable and strong as he think it is? Can he still say all of these when a very challenging obstacle comes his way? Hanggang saan ang kaya nyang ibigay para pakaingatan ang pagkakaibigan at ang pagmamahal na binuro ng panahon?

Abangan!!